The whole "friend" thing

So, I just missed my bus...which isn't good, cuz the next one doesn't come for an hour...so I am now officially late to school. Like I said, not good.

I've been thinking a lot about what it means to "be a friend" or even more "be a good friend". On multiple occasions I have been told I am a good friend, on multiple occasions I have also been told I am not a good friend, or in fact, I've even been told I'm a bad friend.

My whole life (pretty much) I've found the whole "friend" thing a little difficult. I've always had a lot of friends, even at times a lot of close friends, but I guess that just must be the case for most people. Most of my life I have had a best friend, but that's where the whole idea and definition of "friend" kind of gets lost on me.

I decided to go to dictionary.com to see if it could help, here's what I got:

1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.

2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter.

3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile.

4. a member of the same nation, party, etc.

So, after reading those definitions I decided they really didn't clear anything up for me. according to the dictionary I was a friend, and if using the word "good" to mean I did it well, then yeah, I was a good friend. But it wasn't much help. I looked up friendly and ended up with the same conclusion. I'm a good friend and a friendly person. but I already knew that.

I then looked up "best friends" but all it had was "boon companion" and when I looked that up it gave me "best friends" again. I then looked it up on urbandictionary.com and here's what I got:

Many people, not all, go through different best friends throughout life. However, usually a person only has one real, true best friend in all that time. A best friend is not only someone you have a good time with, it is also someone you believe you can trust your life with. A best friend is the first person you call when the most amazing things happen in your life, and when the most horrific incidents happen. A best friend is the person you will always remember no matter what comes about. Some people lose the only true best friend they will ever have, and even when they get new "best friends" .. that old, real best friend is always on their mind. A best friend is almost like real family, a best friend gives the opinion you usually care most about. A best friend is the one who tells you the things you absolutely need to hear regardless of whether you want to hear it or not. A best friend is the person you usually can be around always and never get sick of. A best friend is someone you don't envy, and is the person you are grateful to have as a friend. A best friend is the one who will forgive you always, even when you've screwed up so bad. And a best friend is the one who even though you may have drifted apart from, when the time comes for them to hug you or congratulate you on an accomplishment or to console you on a loss.. they are the number one person you want to see, always because they are the person you've confided the most in and they are the person who knows you the best .. even when you both have changed.

So, after reading that, I guess I never really had a problem. The whole definition of "friend" and "best friend" are all fine and good, but in reality all they are is ambiguous. Nothing in this world can give you the exact guidelines to be able to be the perfect person in every situation with every friend you're ever gonna have. You will eventually mess up, accidentally burn bridges, hurt feelings, not "be there" in a way someone wants to, etc etc. People are never gonna be perfect. We're people, and therefore imperfect. And people working with people, if petty stuff and self interest are gonna get in the way, it's all going to be imperfect.

So, that was my latest adventure...the adventure of trying to find out the whole "friend" thing on a computer after missing the bus...yeah, I guess only life can tell you that one, a computer can't (too bad). So...I'm off to school. Bye!

~Manda