An Epiphany!

(yeah, this has nothing to do with the following post! hahaha)

Ok, so if you've had to be around me lately I'm pretty sorry! Life for miss Amanda has been rather frustrating! School has been difficult, work-difficult, friends-not that difficult, and boys-oh so difficult!!! But I decided to change that today. There are times in your life when things go badly. It is only after experiencing that craziness, wallowing in it a little, and finally admitting defeat that one is able to combat the misery in life. This admittance comes in moments of clarity and I believe I have experienced one of these moments tonight.

Now granted, in my life most frustration stems from guys and then leaks into other aspects of my life. In the current case I am interested in someone who I know will never be interested in me. It has been frustrating. But tonight, between practicing voice and finishing laundry I had a moment of clarity. My head was not clouded with emotion, academics, concern, it was clear and wandering (the best times for a mind are when it is clear and wandering, I believe that anyway) and I realized that everything is ok! So what if I haven't really, really, really liked someone in over a year (technically almost 2). So what if I haven't been on a date with a guy that I am really attracted to in FOREVER...and so what if it's driving me insane!!!!! I don't need to worry about it!

Now, a person that knows me knows that even with this grand epiphany I will still worry about it, I will still be going slowly insane, and I will be perpetually frustrated about it. But one thing that this great moment of clarity brings is relief! Nothing will be as hard as it's been (at least for a little while), life will be simple!

Now don't get me wrong, I love my life! I love my roommates, my friends, my classes, my job (most of the time...hahaha), my family, everything!!! I just LOVE life! (But there are those times when you want to go into an abandoned parking lot and scream and scream and scream till your throat and your lungs just can't take it anymore! It's fun!!!) So yeah, that's what happened after church today!

~Manda