Just some...stuff

So I cut my hair again. It's really short this time... A-line, so it looks a lot longer from the front. I can't even get this haircut into pig tails. I love it tho. It takes a while to get used to some haircuts, but I'm kinda loving the nearly constant change I've been giving my hair. I think I even prefer short hair to long...maybe.

I've just been thinking a lot...you know, in between the times that I'm not so busy my head is spinning. I'm grateful I don't have a car, because transportation (ie walking/ bus taking) gives me a lot of time to think. Well, back to my point, I've been thinking a lot about the way I express (or don't express) emotion and stuff. (I think and talk about myself too much, but that's besides the point.) I've recently realized that I'm not the greatest at actually expressing my feelings. Intense emotion, sure, but otherwise, not so much. We had this activity in my opera workshop where we had to act out certain emotions, and I just got so confused. Nearly all my emotions were small and internal more than external. I realized that I don't really act surprised, grateful, loving. I just sort say those things. My words better communicate how I feel than do my actions (unless I'm angry/sad or happy...those I can do). I'm not sure what I'm trying to say, but...for instance, when I want to be reassuring, I'm not completely sure how to go about it. Sometimes people just want you to sit and listen, but am I any good at that? No, not really, I'm good at doing and talking...getting your mind off of things. And when I'm super grateful for something, like a present, I don't always know how to appropriately show my gratitude. I say thank you, but with how easily distracted I get the gifter might not believe me. But I don't lie, I am honestly truly grateful...and I occasionally go overboard with gratitude, or sympathy, or surprise, and then I talk too much and people look at me weird. Ok, now I have no idea what my point was originally....hahahahaha, oh well, must've not been that important if I can't remember it...hahahahahaha.

So yeah, church was awesome today. We had ward conference. It was wonderful. In sacrament meeting our bishop told this great story that I'd like to share.

When he was a little boy, about four years old, he LOVED Neapolitan ice cream. One day he asked his mom if he could have some and she said no. He proceeded to the next room to push his two year old sister to the ground to get back at his mother, and then he ran out the door toward the forest knowing how much trouble he'd be in for doing that. He jumped the fence behind his house, passed the very full summer creek, and ran into the trees to hide. After a while he could see his parents coming out of his house starting to look for him. Knowing he was in trouble he went further into the forest so that he couldn't be seen, but he never lost sight of his house, knowing that in doing so he would most likely get lost. Soon more members of his family began to look for him, he hid even better. He did NOT want to get in trouble for pushing his sister, because that would me he would get no Neapolitan ice cream. His parents got the neighbors involved. Everyone was looking everywhere. They looked all around the fence, the very full summer creek, and the forest, and this really scared him. There's no way I'm going to get any ice cream, he thought as he further improved his hiding spot. After a while he saw all the people gather in his yard, everyone was just standing there talking. Seeing everyone standing in the hot sun put him in the mood for some ice cream, so he decided to head home, hoping his punishment wouldn't be too severe, and ask his mom for some yummy Neapolitan ice cream. After leaving the forest, passing the very full summer creek, jumping over the fence. He ran to his mother who wrapped her arms around him, an action that confused him. Then she sat down on the steps, exhausted, and told him that she loved him, now he was really confused! The two of them went inside and she gave him a big bowl of Neapolitan ice cream.

My bishop went on to say that this story is a great illustration of God's love for us. Many times we do something wrong and, knowing that its wrong, run away from home. And then when we see the rescue party searching for us in behind the fence and in the very full summer creek, we only hide further. So there we are, afraid of getting chastised, hiding in the trees, meanwhile our friends and family are afraid we have fallen into the very full summer creek and are gone. After a while, once we've realized that the reward is greater than the punishment we head on home, and instead of punishment we are greeted with loving arms, an exhausted but happy search party, and a big bowl of Neapolitan ice cream.

I just loved that sweet story, and I thought you might enjoy it too. It's really helped me figure out a few things that have been going on in my life, so yeah. Hope you all had good Sundays! Love you all!

~Manda

P.S. So yeah, the pictures? No, I'm not trying to be Narcissistic, I just had some fun with my webcam after church.